I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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