i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
