Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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