i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
