Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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