do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
