using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
