sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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