I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
