Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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