I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
