69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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