So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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