we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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