Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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