Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
