I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
