Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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