Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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