She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
