i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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