Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
