wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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