her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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