The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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