I love black thongs
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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