i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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