Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
