That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
