put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
True strength comes from lack of pants
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
