Moan for me like Helen Keller
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
