Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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