What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
