I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
