I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
