I just cut my nipple shaving
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
