she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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