It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
