Well apparently he's into motor boating.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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