I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
