Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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