i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
