she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
