as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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