just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
