So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
