another moral hangover. fuck.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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