There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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