mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
