someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
